A Conflict as an Illness?!

We consider any conflict as illness. This illness is peculiar both to people and social organisms: it arises inside groups or between groups, communities and so on. In the illness already there is the information necessary for recovery, the force to overcome the illness. Thus, the beginning of treatment, will be the diagnosis. But it is very important, that the diagnosis was put together with those, that were mentioned with the conflict. It is the first step on the way of the resolution of the conflict.

Aspects of the diagnosis: Sources of the conflict (subjective or objective) experiences of the sides, ways of «struggle». Sources of the conflict (subjective or objective) experiences of the sides, ways of «struggle». The biography of the conflict, its history and a background on which it progressed. The biography of the conflict, its history and a background on which it progressed. The sides of the conflict, whether it is a person, a group or a community. The sides of the conflict, whether it is a person, a group or a community. A position and attitudes of the sides formal and informal, their roles, personal attitudes, etc. A position and attitudes of the sides formal and informal, their roles, personal attitudes, etc. The initial attitude to the conflict - what their hopes, expectations are. The initial attitude to the conflict - what their hopes, expectations are.

Methods of solving conflicts: Popular alternatives to effective problem - solving are: fighting, arguing, hassling, demanding, blaming, analyzing, complaining, nagging, denying, catastrophing and etc. Initiate mediation, begin problem – solving Initiate mediation, begin problem – solving Gathering data: get information Gathering data: get information Define the problem Define the problem Brainstorm ideas Brainstorm ideas Follow through Follow through

The situation Pat: Oh, what happened with you? You are so pale! Liz: Oh, there is a new handsome boy at our school in the 10 th Form «В». He is so attractive, tall, slim, his eyes are blue, he can dance very well, he is the best pupil, I have ever met. Pat: Do I know him? Do you say the 10 th Grade «В»? May be this one? Liz: Yes, really. This is Timothy.

Pat: But I like Timothy! Id like to become his girlfriend, because Im the best, the nicest, the cleverest girl at school! He will be mine. Liz: But Im the best pupil! Im at the top in Math! He will be mine. Timothy: You know, dear girls. I am not a cake. You cant divide me in two parts. Im the only person who makes a decision. Pat and Liz (together): But how can we solve this problem? Help us to find the way out! Timothy: Ill try.

The Problem Solving

The first step: Get to the conflict; Get to the conflict; Make a statement ; Make a statement ; Stop aggressive behavior; Stop aggressive behavior; Neutralize object of the conflict Neutralize object of the conflict (to calm each other: -Dont be angry! -Timothy, go home. Well try to speak positively.);

The second step: Find out what each wants. Find out what each wants. Help each verbalize feelings Help each verbalize feelings (- I like him and want to be his girlfriend. -Id like to become his girlfriend too.)

The third step: Explainthe problem. Explain the problem. (- We are two pretty girls and we love one boy.)

The fourth step: Ask questions. Ask questions. Give your own ideas. Give your own ideas. (- Why do you think you are better than me? - We are both cool, but I study well.)

The fifth step: Make sure the solution is safe. Make sure the solution is safe. Rephrase the solution. Rephrase the solution. Check out how it will be carried out. Check out how it will be carried out. Who will do what? Who will do what? When will they do it? When will they do it? How will they do it? How will they do it? (- Lets ask Timothy what he prefers: beauty or intelligence. -Some boys choose nice but silly girls, some pay attention to clever but not smart girls. -- Timothy, come here!)

The sixth step: Announce that the problem is solved. Announce that the problem is solved. (- Lets be friends and then Ill decide. - Let it be so.)

The Third Side Sometimes the third side (party) will find the decision of the conflict.( a role of the judge)

Dear Friends. We want you to help us. Here is the task for all teams. Solve this problem from your point of view. Express your opinions in one sentence. You have only two minutes.

The third party should observe the following rules: To be maximum objective To be maximum objective To be neutral and not to read notations To be neutral and not to read notations To help the sides to find distance To help the sides to find distance To be accepted by both parties (sides) To be accepted by both parties (sides) To enjoy confidence. To enjoy confidence.

Try and solve your problems, Without angry words, Without angry words, Without catastrophing And be like friendly birds.

GOOD BYE!